Cats Vs Dogs - A SSW writing

The Cat 

If I were the president, I would sit on dog faces while my owner, who is motionless, likes to sit on the couch and stare at his iPhone twenty-four seven. This is unfair, the owner also has a dog, and he pays attention to him. Maybe I could tackle him? Guess what? I did, first I licked him, nothing, then I bit him, which still didn’t work, and--- you get the idea!? This is terrible! And also, the family dog tackling him as well “Bad cat!” screamed the owner, and so, he put me in the bathroom, slammed the door, and----Screech! No, I have not brought you the American version of this book, I was scratching the door, like really mad, and then a couple of seconds later I realized that the dog was in the room as well. Screech! I jumped as high as I could, so as a result, I literally landed on the ceiling and yes, I was upside down, unfortunately, what the humans call ‘gravity’ kicked in and...Boof! As I fell, I saw my life flashing past. A couple of minutes later(I think) Suddenly I opened my eyes, and I saw I was next to the dog. He is still asleep, therefore this is what I did: I kicked him Batted him with a pan Got a gong out and bashed him by his ear I smacked him, and finally, he woofed, I put my paw on him so he didn’t make one sound. Two hours later I was on the bus, and believe me, it was exhausting, except, I, yes I was carrying the dog. I had an equation in my mind, which was: Dog + Cat = Dog very heavy I wish it was a real equation. Now back to the story, I broke the window and the owner came rushing into the toilet, tripping over the toilet paper, and face planting into the loo. Fortunately for the dog and I jumped out of the ‘Window’ and ran into the bus’s station’s ticket counter, batted the cashier in the face, with my paw, and made a beeline for the bus. When we got on the bus, a random person screamed this: ‘Scram everyone!’, and so, the citizens of the huge red thing with a ball on the bottom. I climbed in and tried the old ‘smash it with a bat’ technic and surprisingly it worked! I fumbled with the so-called dashboard and ‘Drove-Pawed’ the wheel. Two hours later The police were giving a high-speed chase, only, the ‘high-speed chase’ was drive-pawing at 10 mph. The police where ramming other cars, and losing more cars in their fleet and the breaking the seats in the bus and at the back was carrying flyers and dirt, throwing the dirt first saying “Pixie dust, Pixie dust, Pixie dust” A few police cars rammed into Interpol cars and a police officer flew on top of the bus, landing with a loud THUD! He had made a dent-print of himself before flying into another Interpol car. I suddenly stopped and all the cars rammed into each other leaving no police left! “Ummm?” I, Cat said “Hello” as a tumbleweed blew past To be continued... 

The Dog 

Hi, I'm a dog, a real dog. I am very bored with my toys my owner gave me and also by the way the owner is being tackled by our cat. If I, President, I would announce to kill all the cats and give us dogs a different toy every single day. Too bad I am in a dull house with a motionless owner who looks at his phone 24 hours a day! I wanted more attention, so I secretly planned with the cat to wrestle our owner down together. 2 minutes later Gulp, my owner is chasing me with a stick. I didn't know what to do, so I went to hide in the bathroom. I saw the cat hiding under the couch. " Don't come out, you disgusting creature!" my owner shouted at me 2 hours later I wanted to escape, this horrible place. So I planned an escape at night but I was very clumsy so I knocked down the toilet paper. CRASH!! I went to the toilet paper. I heard my owner rushing to the bathroom. This was it, I am dead! Suddenly everything started blacking out, but then I realized I was knocked out, besides I saw a cat lifting me. She was muttering ‘Dog + Cat = Dog very heavy’. Back to the story, the owner went spat on the toilet bowl, but still in the head inside the lavatory. I think the cat carried me onto the bus because we were on the bus! I sat near the window, the cat evacuated everyone, I think it was his prosthetic excuse. Amazingly the cat started driving the bus! I thought I was dreaming again so I bit myself but I wasn’t sleeping. Suddenly the chase is on. The police drove at 10 miles per hour and the police also started ramming into other cars and losing more cars in their fleet. While I, the dog started scraping dirt from the bus and started throwing the dirt out while saying “Pixie dust, Pixie dust, Pixie dust”. Then suddenly the cat stopped and the bus stopped and all the cars rammed into each other leaving no police left! The cat was surprised! To be continued...